Jessica Simpson—memoirist, businesswoman, and underappreciated early-aughts girlie—is out here defying the laws of physics for the sake of fashion like a true pop queen. In this dreamy Instagram post, Simpson probably wants us to focus on the gorgeous sunset, her chic black one-piece, or her effortless mermaid hair, but I am too distracted by the fact that the woman is walking around in platform heels on sand. I don’t know if you’ve been to the beach lately, but personally I struggle with Birkinstocks. If I’m remembering 11th grade physics correctly (which, let’s be honest, I’m probably not), this should be physically impossible.
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“The sun is settin’ on the most romantic, sexy and well deserved (if I do day so myself) Mexican getaway with my forever lover @ericjohnsonalrighhhht,” Simpson writes in the caption. “Awww I will miss this, but I will be bringin’ home a lot of extra passion for everyone and everything that is for sure. Adios Cabo San Lucas.” You know what, I love this for her.
It doesn’t look as though Simpson’s heels or suit are from her own collection, though she does have plenty of block-heeled and platform sandals available if you want to try your luck at your own defying-gravity moment.
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Jessica Simpson’s well-deserved Cabo getaway came about a month after she celebrated her 42nd birthday, which she also marked with an Instagram post. “Oh lil Mrs 42 look at you leanin’ into the moonbeams to recharge and radiate a purposeful glowing heart,” she wrote. “I know myself and I do love her very much. I know my purpose and I must say that ladies and gents I am equipped to waltz within every dream I own confidently.”
Clearly those were some powerful moonbeams because this lady is absolutely thriving.
